Series: Kuroko no Basuke
Pairing: Kagami x Kuroko
Rating: Most of the chapters are rated PG, only some of the last chapters are rated 18+
New Life is the second part of the “For Kuroko ” series.
Kagami have no choice anymore but tell the truth to Kuroko, but he is afraid to see the reaction of the latter.
Kagami wasn’t sure of what he wanted to do when he woke up the next morning. Should he call Kuroko and invite him to do something or should he just pass the day wondering about the next step in his relation with his friend. He knew one day he will probably have to explain himself, tell him the truth about his come back, tell him the reason he was back in Japan was because Aomine had asked him in a letter and also tell him the reason why he left Japan. Kagami realized he was hiding a lot of thing to Kuroko since the moment he left. He was also concerned about how the latter would react once he will know everything, when he will know the truth. Will he get angry, sad or hurt, he might even just keep what he thought for himself which Kagami didn’t want to. Once Kagami would be ready to tell Kuroko the truth, he will make sure to make him talk, talk about how he feel. He don’t want any awkwardness between the two of them. Aomine asked him to take care of Kuroko and that’s what Kagami was planning to do. He just wasn’t completely sure of how to proceed.
The tall red-haired young man finally decide to pass the day alone. Seeing Kuroko now might not be a good idea with the way he left the day before, he really needed to sorted out his thought before passing more time with him alone again. He knew what he wanted, but it wasn’t even sure Kuroko would want the same thing. Maybe the one who used to be is teammate during high school see him only as a friend and nothing more. Maybe he doesn’t think it can go further like what happen with Aomine. He was about to call Satsuki, but he refrain to do so, he wanted to figure thing out by himself and not rely always on the young woman. Plus she had other things to do, like take care of her baby and if Takao was there how Kagami could explain is call this early a Sunday morning. He really needed to find the way to take by himself.
Kagami pass the most part of his day walking around the town, eating his breakfast in a café near the school he was teaching and his lunch to the first Majin Burger he encounter. Before he realized it, the afternoon came to an end and his foot lead him to the cemetery where was Aomine’s grave. He slowly walked where is late rival was resting forever and seated on the cold ground. He brushed of the few death leaves from the tombstone and stare at the cold stone without knowing what to say to the one who will never make fun of him anymore.
“Geezz Aomine, I really don’t know what to do. I really want to take care of him like you ask me . Knowing what I feel, you knew I would do it even if I have tried to erase my feeling for him, to bury them, to forget about them. You knew I will accept to do it. You freaking knew it and somehow that’s really annoyed me. You asked me to come back if anything happen to you, now that I’m back what should I do. I’m trying to hide those feeling I have for Kuroko, but…more I pass time with him harder it is becoming…”
Kagami was so concentrate on what he was thinking that he didn’t heard someone approaching behind him. When he felt the present and turn around to see who is was, the blood rush to his face. Kuroko was standing behind him. He was holding back Nigou, stopping him to come to see him. Kagami look at the icy-blue-haired young man who suddenly looked really tall yet fragile..
“Kuroko…” began to say Kagami while trying to get up. He didn’t knew what Kuroko had heard, but he feel like it was a sign telling him he had to tell him the truth, even if he would had rather wait a little more time.
“Kagami-kun…it is truth? It is truth you came back cause Daiki ask you to?” said Kuroko whose eyes was filled with tears
“Kuroko…let’s go to your house” softly said Kagami “I..will tell you everything you want to know, I promise, no more hiding”
Kuroko agreed, wiping the tears that was running down his tears
The duo walk to Kuroko’s house in silence. A heavy and awkward silence, the kind of silence Kagami didn’t want. He knew he had messed up, he hasn’t been careful enough, he should have known Kuroko would visit Aomine’s grave like every Sundays. Kagami was feeling small, something he never really felt before, he was feeling small and somewhat miserable. He saw the disappointment in Kuroko’s face, he knew he had hurt his friend and now he didn’t had any other choice to tell him the truth.
They arrived at Kuroko’s place, the kindergarten teacher slowly unlock the door and enter in his home. Kuroko close the door behind Kagami while the tall red-haired was removing his shoes and hung his jacket on a hook. Then Tetsuya invite Taiga to the living room where they could talk.
The two seated in silence for a few minutes when Kagami clear up his throat and tell his friend to ask him everything he wanted to know, he promised to answer each question frankly, will not dodge any of them or hide anything. Kuroko nodded in agreement and open his mouth to talk
“So are you really back cause Daiki had ask you?” he ask with a shaking voice
“Yes it is truth, Aomine’s sent me a letter few years ago. In the letter he asked me to come back in Japan if anything happen to him, a bit like a last will. At first I try to forget about it, but when I learnt about what happened, I could just stay in America and dismiss a request of a death friend” replied Kagami
“Why? Why did he you ask you to come back?” wanted to know Kuroko
“Hmm… his exact words were… I know you will never be able to really forget the feeling you have for Tetsu, so if anything happen I want you to come back. Come back and take care of him, you are the only one I know who can love him the same way I did… that was his word. I knew I should have the picture of it on my phone” said Kagami scratching his head.
“Love me the same way he did? I’m not sure to understand Kagami-kun” said Kuroko avoiding Kagami red eyes.
“Kuroko…the reason I gave you when I left for the USA wasn’t totally truth, it was more an excuse than anything else”, began to say Kagami, “the real reason why I left, it’s because you and Aomine started dating. Like him I also had feeling for you, but I didn’t wanted to get in the way, the last thing I wanted was you finding out about it, so I took the easy way out and run away…”
Kuroko couldn’t believed what Kagami just told him, he said he loved him, yet he lied to him and hide the truth, he hurt him, make him sad. He remembered the reaction he had when Kagami told him he was leaving, he was sad, however he understand. But now it was just an excuse, Kagami left cause he was afraid of what could happen. Kuroko was even more hurt, but again how he would have reacted if he had new the real reason behind Kagami leaving. It would have been hard for everyone, hard to pretend there was nothing. Kuroko was hurt, hurt because Kagami lied to him, however he slowly realized why Kagami did that and didn’t resent him. Kagami did what he think it was the best for all party at that time. A part of Kuroko knew he shouldn’t forgive Kagami that quickly, but an other part telling him, Kagami did this for his friend’s sake, how you he hate him for that.
“The only thing I wanted, was you to be happy, even without me. If you were happy with Aomine it was okay for me. I considered staying, but seeing you holding hand hurt a side of me…” continue Kagami
“Did.. Did Daiki knew about it?” asked Kuroko
“Yes, he did from the moment I announced I was leaving, he figured it out…” simply reply Kagami
“And now…do you still love me?” then asked Kuroko
“Yes, I do still love you, that why everything is so hard, I wanted to wait few more week before telling you everything. I wasn’t ready. I, once again, was scared of how you would react. That why I try to dodge you question, that why I was reluctant to over yesterday. More time I pass with you, harder it is for me. I know my feeling for you, I know I promised Aomine that I will take care of you, that why I’m back, but I don’t know how you feel about that. I have to say that even if after I tell you everything, we still remains only friend, I’m okay with that. As long as you keep me as friend, as long as I can be there for you if you need me, I would be happy with it.” replied Kagami.
He said it, he told Kuroko he was still loving him, now he couldn’t do nothing more than just wait, wait to see if Kuroko will return or not is feeling. Of course, deep down he wanted Kuroko to love him back, but he couldn’t force him to do. So if he could stay beside him just as friend he would take this role and fulfil it the best as he can.
Kuroko was sitting across from Kagami, thinking about which answer he should give him. He didn’t really wanted to give an answer now, however he knew Kagami will eventually want one.
Kuroko lifted his head and looked at Kagami in the eyes. It was the first time he was looking in his eyes since the cemetery earlier. His friend’s eye was filled with pain and worries. Pain to know Kuroko could just pushed him away and worries to not know what will happen next. Kuroko took a long breath and told Kagami he will need sometimes before he can give him a real answer, but for now they will remain a friend. Kuroko didn’t want to push Kagami away, the young man feel like he needed him close to him, by his side.
Kagami push a sigh of relief, now that Kuroko knew the truth, everything will be a bit easier. He would be able to let go most of the tension he was holding up.
Kagami looked at Kuroko and give him a soft smile
“I kind of glad to hear that, I was really scare you just push me away and forbid me to come near you. I know, I should have told you soon as I was back. But…I didn’t have the courage to do it. I’m just a coward in the end…” said Kagami with tears in the eyes
“Kagami-kun, you are not a coward, you are braver than you think. You might have run away the first time, but you came back. Yes, you try to hide the truth by giving me excuse, but you told me the truth just now. Kagami-kun I know you did all this because of me, because you didn’t want to hurt me. You get over your own feeling for me happiness and I think that really brave of you. You were really considerate. Thank you” replied Kuroko putting his hand on Kagami knees
Kagami looked at Kuroko in the eyes, his sky-blue eyes was also filled with tears. The red-haired want to wipe them off, but he refrain to do letting Kuroko brush them off with the back of his hand.
Everything that needed to be said was said, Kagami now just have to wait and see which decision Kuroko will take.
After they talk end Kurok propose to Kagami to stay over for diner, Kagami propose him to eat outside instead. He needed some fresh air. Kuroko gladly agreed with his friend proposition. The two took their jacket and slide the feet inside their shoes and headed out for diner.
They end-up at Majin Burger with an impression of déjà-vu. During the diner they talk, talk a lot, but they didn’t talk about what they had talk when they were at Kuroko’s place. Instead they talked about their work and the kid they were taking care of. Kuroko and Kagami passed a great time together. They were both at ease and were feeling like if nothing happened. Like if Kuroko always knew about Kagami feeling for him, like if nothing has need hidden. Kagami was grateful to Kuroko to be so understanding. He was happy to be able to stay by his side. Kagami promise to wait for a final answer and not push him.
After their diner, Kagami headed back to his home and told Kuroko he will call him to see if he wanted to do something next Saturday. Kuroko agreed with a smile and watch his friend walking away before getting in his home.
Walking toward the bus stop, Kagami couldn’t help but smile at the turn of event. Yes, he might have told the truth to Kuroko sooner than he expected, but now that it was done he felt better, he felt lighter. “Now I just have to wait for him” thought Kagami getting in the bus that will bring him home.